The prospect of a new school year seemed especially daunting after I decided to stop taking my medication. I was led to the conclusion that the meds were more harmful than good as it exaggerated my already overwhelming emotions and altered my already ever-altering sleep pattern. As an ADDer, I was told over and over again that “this pill will make you more productive” and I believed it.
My second week into school, I’ve only missed two days, which says a lot for my attendance. With medication, I usually got to school two days every two weeks, as I’d be up all night hyperfocusing on my emotions; going to bed the wee hours of the morning. Although my “burnout” time has greatly shortened off my medication, I work a lot faster as, wait for it, my executive functioning has increased as, my emotions come in fragments, rather than concrete focus. I now can get all my work done for the day in just a few hours rather than less than half of what needed to be done in a whole 6 hour school day.
The sense of accomplishment that comes with going to school at 9 and coming home at 11:30 sparks the unbreakable determination that ADD is known for, pushing me to continue this habit of going to school, which seemed impossible before. Being in an alternative school geared towards juvenile delinquents and highschool drop outs, it is not questioned if one leaves to suddenly go for a walk, which is about the only thing needed to maintain focus on schoolwork from an ADD perspective. I can leave for half an hour and get my work done plenty earlier than my peers, which is a baffling accomplishment.
The decision to stop taking my medication has been the godsend everyone else seems to think taking it in the first place is. The possibility of graduating has never seemed more tangible, when it used to be this tragically impossible necessity that was sure to bring my impending doom. All that needs be is the desire to do so.
